Tough Break

Well, I’m over this thing called “snow” and “cold weather.” Tough break, right?

All things considered, I think I lasted pretty long. I’m proud of myself.

And just so we’re clear, Minnesota  and its shitty weather isn’t necessarily to blame. It’s every other state’s fault. I was watching The Today Show this week, and they were all complaining about the how “cold” it was. It was 26 degrees. Please. It was 18 degrees here Friday morning and I got an iced drink at  Starbucks. Buck up people.

California is also not making me very happy right now. It wasn’t looking outside at the ice and snow that caused me to diagnose myself with SAD (seasonal affective disorder. It’s a real thing. Google it). It was hearing about everyone in SLO going to the beach or everyone in Northern California talking about spending the day outside, riding horses and bikes. Let’s just say I’m not playing “California Love” on repeat this week. I know, Tupac is disappointed in me. But if my fellow thug was here with me, he’d understand. I mean, I’m pale, but I don’t think I’ve ever been quite this colorless in my life.

So, when is spring, exactly?

High of -4? I’ve got this.

Since I moved to Minnesota in June, I have been preparing for this day. 

It was a day that I couldn’t fully fathom. A day I had no past experiences even similar to. A day that had caused much fear and worry in my mind. What could this awful, awful day be, you ask?

Today, the temperature never went over 0 degrees. In fact, it was a high of -4, windchill of about -30. And I survived.

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Hey, look! There is a midweek warming trend!

Yes, I survived my first day of entirely subzero temperatures. Biggest lesson learned of the day: Cold is cold. At about 10 degrees, I’m going to start crying like a little girl, which doesn’t change when it is -4. It was like any other day, except the natives joined me in my whining, which was comforting. 

Luckily, I planned ahead. Well, Lana planned ahead for me. She sent me a text last night saying she would be picking me up for work in the morning and driving me home as well, and I wasn’t allowed to go to the gym today. I happily allowed her to take over my to and from work transportation. 

She also provided me with some humor this morning, though it may have hit a little too close to home…

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Just like when I attempt to sun tan, it ended up being a burn.

I also had this less than pleasing conversation with my brother, who is a freshman at Cal Poly and is enjoying the traditional January heat wave that hits San Luis Obispo every year:

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The cold is so distracting, I forgot to use correct grammar. Apparently balmy weather causes the same problem with my brother.

There were several silver linings to the cold weather today, though. 

1. broadhead took pity on us all and ordered 4 gallons of chili for the chilly day. Never underestimate the power of chili when you know it is no warmer than -5 outside. 

2. I found this little guy in my office, being underutilized. He now lives at my desk. 

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3. Hot Dish. While I’ve had it once before, after eating it for dinner tonight, I GET IT. Who knew cream of mushroom soup, egg noodles, canned corn, ground beef, sour cream and a ritz cracker crust could make you feel so good?

(For those of you keeping score at home, that is both chili and hot dish I have eaten today. I am also beginning to understand the concept of winter weight.)

I am now safely tucked into the couch, in my yoga pants and flannel shirt and no less than two blankets. I was assured that today was the coldest day in four years, so it can’t get any worse, right? Right?